The “Care” in Health Care is Not Optional

Let’s talk about healthcare.

I had a virtual visit with one of my doctors today in which we had a truly uncomfortable conversation about medication. In October of last year I went to see him for the first time because I was having a deep muscle pain which felt like it was in my ear, way back in my head, like in the ear canal or something. It was a sharp, alarming pain. At the time I initially met with this doctor I had been experiencing this pain for over a year in fits and starts.

One of the doctors who is treating my cancer referred me to this particular provider, called an Otolaryngologist, a specialty which I will never be able to pronounce. I did not want to meet with this doctor (or any doctor) in person because of the pandemic, but I was afraid that the pain was due to some sort of spreading of the cancer, possibly within my lymph nodes or to elsewhere in my body. So I went to see him, scampered through the hospital with my mask on, scared out of my mind to be so close to other people.

During our first visit this doctor got hung up on my medical history. My primary care doctor referred me for “ear pain,” which is a succinct way to describe what was going on. This doctor honed in on: “oh, you have a history of cancer.” Yup. It was all there in my chart, but it wasn’t highlighted in the referral. This made going…