First off -- if you're getting divorced, hire a lawyer that only represents you, not one that says they will be an arbiter between yourself and your ex-to-be. That's a huge conflict of interest.

Second, if you & your ex-to-be (whether legally married or not) are both listed on a mortgage, sell the property. Don't agree that one person will move out and the other will refinance. That is a recipe for disaster.

Third, and this is a general piece of advice: be realistic about your cash flow and spending habits. Don't use it as an excuse to beat yourself up, but take honest snapshots of your financial situation in order to assess how you can improve as you go through life. If you can identify some aspects that you're good at, like putting money from your paycheck directly into a savings account each pay period, that's a good starting point. If you're just overwhelmed by debt and can't figure out which way is up it's easy to throw your hands in the air and be like "WELP This is how it will be forever!" So, finding a few reasons to pat yourself on the back is kind of necessary.